Hurt
by Scandalous Dreams
Summary: Joseph has always been observant. And the Mojave scars those who are mindful to all it's misdeeds. This is probably not going to be it's own free standing story. Might continue when feeling Writer's blocked.


Just a short little thing as writer's block relief. Starring the Splendid Feller father Joseph! Woo! So Yes, just a memory of his.

The kind you specifically remember, usually after a restless night. Maybe just after you have had your coffee(Or other morning drink). It dawns on that you actually did sleep, but the particulars of the dream are hazy. All that you know, at least in that timeframe, is that it wasn't good. It's pure unsettling.

Like the grave, understanding one gets when they find something out, a secret maybe. Something horrifying, something so completely wrong to everything they breathe and know, but they can't, or choose not to tell. They keep that secret. Held tight, and burrowed in their thoughts. Refusing to be forgotten. The memory's persistence is as much a punishment as is their silence.

Enjoy.

**EDIT: **Just renamed it, same story! Inspired by Johnny Cash's song, Hurt.

* * *

Aunt Emi's baby is dead again.

I know it. I swear I just know it. I was there, not there with her an' all, but outside the baby tent with other family like Momma and my brothers, Emi's husband too. The birthing times been getting shorter last couple so we don't wait long for Aunt Emi's wailing. I swear we all dreaded going there. Teddy that husband a her's went in first.

He's a short guy. Big guy. Real nice when he don't drink. Aunt Emi's always talking about his twisted hair. 'Bout the baby having those thick curls. It's just hair I suppose. She says that with every baby but I...

I look at Momma and she's just sittin' there with her hands balled up tight in prayer, speaking words Papa don't let her teach me. I wish he'd let her. Momma gets so calm'n and happy when she speaks them. But Papa has none of that. Neither does my brothers. They don't care for me. But Momma says they don't care for many people.

There they are. Throwing rocks at some other kids. Oh, happen that, Tom's squared one right off that skinny kid Joe's nose. Looked awfully painful. They laugh because that's all they're good at. Tossin' stones. Like the bast-

"Come now Joseph, Emi's ready." Momma calls out me.

Her voice catches me off guard and causes me to stumble up from my spot on the sitting log. I wipe some dirt off my shirt. Which don't really exist. My hands are just quick to flutter nervously about myself. She doesn't know why I'm all flustered when I take her waiting hand. But that don't stop her from givin' a look. That's okay. She'd probably give me the spoon if she knew what I had just thinkin'. The tent flap opens itself for us. Though on the way through I see it's actually Teddy. But.

He's upset. His face is puffy. And red.

Has he..

"What's goin' on here!"

Momma shakes with my hand at his voice. There's Papa. And as always, no tact. Or indoor voice.

Something slams against my head and I instantly know he's just clubbed me, that was probably my fault. My head swirls with pain. I can't see nothin' but black. Now Momma's pulling me in close so she can use herself to shield me. There's no need though 'cause Papa's long gone his way to Teddy. I can hear it in his steps. His fadingly still loud, thumping steps. My presense there was merely an afterthought to him. That's okay.

My heads hurts now when I try to listen, a deafening ring settling itself now, with tears beading at the sides of my eyes mockingly. I'm quick to wipe them gone with my sleeve. I can only stand there then. The ringing's fine. Waiting for Mama to pull me back home. Waiting for the news we all already know.

Emi's not bringing home no baby with knotted, thick curls. I'm sure they all realize it. Even Aunt Emi herself has to know. Six babies and none left to bring home is an awful lot. I've been keepin' count. Ain't long too. Ain't long at all before that Doctor tells her havin' any more babies will kill her.

Teddy won't hear that though. I know that too. It's the spark in his eyes, each time the baby comes out bad, that's what'll kill Emi. That fire. Wanting. Wanting what it can't have, and not worried what it has to burn through to get it.

Aunt Emi will burn, simply, because she's too weak to not.

And that makes me sad, being the only one to realize that.

* * *

**What have I become,**  
**My sweetest friend,**  
**Everyone I know,**  
**Goes away in the end,**


End file.
